Greener Pastures!

When dealing with people and the human emotion…there are often times when one person doesn't feel appreciated or valued. And while this is not an assault on men, although I am sure many of you will take it that way, it seems like men never value the "all things" woman in their life. You know that woman that is good to them…that is there for them…the woman that has their back through it all…the woman that loves them unconditionally -- hereinafter known as the "All Things" woman.

I thought about why it is that this woman is often unappreciated and under-valued. And I refuse to believe that every guy that disregards or dismisses a woman like this is a bad guy. But rather, I am of the opinion that this type of woman is a woman that is always there. Men get comfortable with this woman. This woman represents stability. Unfortunately, out of stability complacency is born. So, in this world where people are always looking for the next best thing…the latest and the greatest, men are often looking for a grazing spot where the grass is greener. And the "all things" woman is dismissed.

And while I am not foolish to think that the "all things" woman can't be replaced. There are a lot of good women out there in the world. But unlike men, women still believe that there is a true love and a soul-mate. Men mistakenly believe that there will be many women that will float their boat. They are taught to be conquerors of many and to be conquered by none. Unfortunately for men, the heart has a mind of its own. There will come a time where the heart will demand the "all things" love.

In this instance, when the heart takes over, very often men will come back to the dismissed woman in hopes of reconciling once he realizes that she is of value and significant. And many times, if the woman has space in her life and her heart she will let him back into her world. But there are other times where the pain was so great that the woman while she may care about this man has moved on…for good or for bad. In these instances, I have seen men go through a great deal of heartache and pain…more than ever anticipated.

So the questions I have for men today are...why is it that you can't recognize a good thing when you find one? And do you think the idea of greener pastures is truly worth losing someone that matters? And just a thought, any pasture will be green with the right amount of sunlight, nourishment, love and care! But that's just a thought…straight out of The She-Spot!

Unfortunately, Eating Crow!

Have you ever said something that you wish you could take back? You know that one thing that didn't need to be said, and isn't even what you meant, but because you were in the heat of the moment or the anguish of the minute...you said it...! It rolled out of your mouth and off of your tongue like a truck barreling down a suburban street. It was ugly; it was uncomfortable, and a bit scary.


Well, recently I said something to someone I care about a great deal. I didn't mean it...and I so wish I could take it back. And the person took it just like anyone would ...the person was annoyed, angry, and all in all pissed! The minute it came out of my mouth...I wanted to suck it back in, because the reality is what I said is not at all a depiction of what I think of this person or what this person means to me.

But as you know, you can't un-ring a bell....nor can you turn back the hands of time. So my words linger in the air like the stench of a hot summer day.

So at this point, all I can do and all I have done is apologize. I truly hope that I can rectify things. Or at least, I hope this person will realize that I am sincere and did not mean it. But I use this moment as a lesson learned...never say anything without first thinking about the consequences. And I realize that sticks and stones can break someone’s bones and words can hurt just the same!

This is the She-Spot...eating crow...and hoping she can make amends.

.....ughughugh! ------The She-Spot!

Friday Night Love Blues --- I need to ease up on the wine!

It's less than ten days into the New Year, and I'm trying to maintain that New Year enthusiasm, at least until the end of the month :). However, I'm feeling incredibly stressed with work and life demands. And while I am sure that 2010 will offer great things to me, I am however starting off the year yearning for true love. (Singing and swaying to the tune of the Gap Band...yearning for your love...my heart is yearning for your love...)

At times in our lives, we have all had the fortune of caring deeply about someone special. However, very often we still seek space in our relationships. I am truly sitting here on a Friday night drinking a glass of vino and watching chic flicks while wishing I had someone to share my air. You know that up close and personal kind of love...the one where you feel a slight shock to your heart when the person leaves the room. I am thinking about holding someone and being enveloped in their loving hug. I am thinking about Saturday mornings in bed. I am thinking about long walks in the park...and sharing the last piece of pie. I am thinking about unconditional love.


Granted even when you are deeply in love it isn't always like this, but it is always nice to recapture the first few moments of being in love. And while I am contemplating this type of love, unfortunately I haven't had the fortune of having this type of love lately. My heart aches a bit...and I have so much love inside, it is as if I am bursting at the seams. My soul and spirit say...in due time...but my heart wants to be satisfied right now!

I think we should bag the saying the heart wants what it wants...and implement the saying..."the heart gets what it wants... ." I know that love is somewhere out there for me. I am not the most patient person, but truly this love thing or lack thereof has me unbalanced and off center. I want to bitch-slap love and get my heart in check.


I have a friend that said love comes in slow drips like a leak in a faucet versus the steady flow of a fountain. When you are fortunate enough to taste love, take each drip and let it run moistly across your lips, savor the moment with your tongue, and then let the small droplet coat the inside of your throat to begin quenching your thirst.

Ahhhh, it is Friday night...I'm home alone, and I've had one too many drinks. Love is on my mind...and my heart is up for grabs.

Happy Friday everyone...live, laugh, and embrace love!


And that's straight out of the she-spot!!!
 
D

2010 --- It’s the New Year again!

Well readers as we approach another New Year, I am sure many of you are planning your New Year's resolutions. You know the ones that include losing weight, getting more active, working out, eating better, going to church more, getting more involved in community outreach, getting more in touch with friends and family,....and just overall becoming a better you. I truly do wish everyone good luck with their resolutions this year. I have always had and probably will continue to have my share of resolutions in 2010 and beyond. The driving desire to be a better person rings loud and clear as the clock strikes 12 at the beginning of the year. As we shout 10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1, ...Happy New Year.... Be a Better Me, should all be proclaimed in the same sentence.

At any rate, again, I am not challenging anyone for their New Year's Resolutions...rather....the single girl in the New Year is hoping to see movement in her life. Can I resolve to find a soul-mate, can I resolve to date more, and can I resolve to find true love...? To me resolutions always lack some truth, because they are often surface requests for what we truly desire. Lose weight --- improve my self-image; Work out --- stop being lazy and get some discipline; Eat better --- a statement that is riddled with guilt from all the crap that we ate over the holidays; Go to Church More ---- Stop being a some time Christian (*some times I'm working on my relationship with God...and some times I'm not); Get more involved in community outreach --- again riddled with guilt regarding all the selfish acts that have been done this past year. This year, I am truly digging into my soul to outline my New Year's resolutions:

1) Get off the couch, get in the gym, and stop crying about losing weight
2) Make more money --- i.e., stop spending everything I have on frivolous items I don't need
3) Eat better - HA, stop eating all together --- stop self medicating with food
4) Cut back on alcohol - again stop self medicating with alcohol, and get it together
5) Be a more faithful person -- be prayerful in the good and bad times...and just because it’s cold outside, it doesn't exempt me from going to church
6) I resolve to find a mate --- i.e., stop dealing with these dead-end and nowhere relationships and open your heart and soul for what's truly right
7) Appreciate my blessings, big and small. Stop being a selfish, self-centered, and egotistical individual….recognize my higher purpose…
8) Be a better me --- Note: if you have to pep-talk yourself into being a better you then you probably already know you aren't the best you ...that you can be!

Overall, the single girl desires to see movement in her life. The single girl of the she-spot feels totally stagnant right now. It's time to take the reigns of my life and gain control of my life, my decisions, my failures, and my consequences.

So this year as you and I put pen to paper to create your resolutions for 2010, let’s all aim to be wiser and more true to ourselves. Let’s recognize our decisions that have led our lives in the direction it’s going. Resolve to be better at being you…resolve to be more introspective and reflective. Resolve to recognize our individual faults… .

Happy New Year everyone....wishing you much love and peace during this season...and much success on attaining your goals for 2010.

---And that's straight out of the she-spot!!!

D